QZ qz thoughts
a blog from Eli the Bearded
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Audition (1999)


Audition (1999) at IMDB

(mild spoilers)

Shigeharu: Even though I've only met you twice your biographical essay for that fake audition has won my heart, I want to marry you, Asami.

Yasuhisa: Don't do it. She seems creepy, plus I did some background checks on her and nothing in her resume can be confirmed. Her last agent has been missing for over a year.

Shigehiko: Do whatever you want dad, I'm busy with my girl friend.

Asami: Even though I act meek and submissive in public, I'm really into dominance. And to make sure your only thought it me, I'll kill everyone else you might love (and your dog too!) and then cripple you so you are dependent on me. Plus I'll have you live in a sack when I'm bored.

Old guy in wheel chair: I'm sick! And creepy! And your step-dad, Asami!

I could barely watch this movie. The first two thirds is dreadfully slow and full of obvious hints that there is something wrong with Asami but Shigeharu is willfully blind. Then in the last third the monster comes out and makes Kathy Bates' Annie Wilkes from Misery seem tender and caring.

I had heard good things about the movie, and I'd liked the director Takashi Miike's comedy film Happiness of the Katakuris, so I watched this, Miike's best known film. And I watched it to the end, but I would't recommend it: can't unwatch.

I saw it several weeks ago and little bits of the visuals keep coming back to me, but I don't have any eye bleach strong enough.

1 cut off tongue dancing around a floor on it's own out of five principal characters.

Misery at IMDB

The Happiness of the Katakuris at IMDB

Final thought: seems like this was a low budget rush job, too