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a blog from Eli the Bearded
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The Hunter

Quoting: P. J. O'Rourke, Republican Party Reptile, first published 1978, pp. 128-137:

You have to get a car that handles really well. This is extremely important, and there's a lot of debate on this subject -- about what kind of car handles best. Some say a front-engined car; some say a rear-engined car. I say a rented car. Nothing handles better than a rented car. You can go faster, turn corners sharper, and put the transmission into reverse while going forward at a higher rate of speed in a rented car than in any other kind. You can also park without looking, and can use the trunk as an ice chest. Another thing about a rented car is that it's an all-terrain vehicle. Mud, snow, water, woods -- you can take a rented car anywhere. True, you can't always get it back -- but that's not your problem, is it?

Steve McQueen's rental car treatment is no better in The Hunter: movie clip at youtube.

I just watched The Hunter. Not McQueen's best, but a good showing nonetheless. (It was his final film.) Watching him parallel park in that film is great, at least if you know it's McQueen. The combine sequence is a good bit of the fun, but there's a good Chicago sequence, too.

The Hunter at IMDB

Supposedly mostly true. Queen here plays a bounty hunter nicknamed "Papa. The real life "Papa" makes a cameo as the bartender.

Star Wars: Fall of the Jedi (Neon Noir Fan Edit)

Watch it on youtube

Star Wars: Fall of the Jedi (Neon Noir Fan Edit)

This is a fan edit of the prequel trilogy into one feature length film. It has a new score, story, and tone that is hopefully akin to the films of Michael Mann and Nicholas Winding Refn. It is an experiment in editing and audio to try and find a new take on the fall of Anakin Skywalker.

Includes music by: The Chromatics, The Chemical Brothers, Cliff Martinez, Kavinsky, John Carpenter, Brian Eno, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, NIN, Tangerine Dream, Proud, College, Daft Punk, and Clint Mansell.

It's a much different take on the series. Since all they do is reedit the existing films and put a new soundtrack on it, there are some things that can't be fixed (that fight floating on lava near the end, for example), but overall it's a much better version of the story. Run time is 100 minutes, shorter (by more than twenty minutes) than any single film in the entire real Star Wars canon.

Nearly all of the dialog is gone, stripped down to the bare essential lines. I think you could watch this and still understand the whole six plus hour story Lucas wrote, though. But gone are all the hooks for product tie-ins. No pod racing, no Jar-jar, General Greivous is on screen for perhaps seconds, etc. Darth Vader's mask, carefully and slowly filmed with a strong visual style that suits this edit gets more screen time General Greivous who isn't really advancing the plot.

Overall, I'd say 2 to 4 out of five depending on how much you like the new sound track. My wife hated the sound track.

Kung Fury

Kung Fury (2015) watch it on youtube (31 minutes).

This is a kickstarter financed short from Sweden that mocks / pays hommage to a vast amount of 1980s pop culture. It's over the top in that it is paced more like a modern film than an 80s movie or TV show -- it's not clear which this was trying to be. It's also suffering from a CGI crew with a bad case of horror vacui.

There's an arcade game that transforms into a robot, Hitler, time travel, dinosaurs, vikings, a cobra "spirit animal" in GI Joe cartoon form, and a Hasselhoff cameo. Based on that you probably know if you want to watch it or not.

Thirty shots without reloading from a handgun that holds maybe ten bullets.

It also features "epic pecs". So there's that.

"Movies Starring Movies: HORROR MOVIE"

Youtube video link

Five minute short animation using DVD cases to stand in for actors (and in a few non-character parts, like the coffee cup with the box design for Coffy on it, or the graveyard with Tombstone tombstones.)

This is episode five in a series, I've not watched any of the others, but this was certainly worth the five minutes.

This might be the goriest short starring DVD boxes ever.